One Less "Hitch in the
Giddy-Up"
Tom Froehlich
“Coincidence is God’s way of
remaining anonymous.” That’s what Albert Einstein said, anyway. I say let’s
give it to the guy even if he couldn’t seem to get a comb through that damn
hair. If you don’t believe in God and even if you actually believe in
coincidence, which I don’t, you have to admit that sometimes things happen that
at the very least make you sit back and go, “Hmmph?!”.
I had just spent two amazing weeks
in Door County Wisconsin, (“The Happiest Place on Earth”. Screw Disney!). It
was great to see so many people that I love and spend time together in a place
we all love. If you ever need to let time and your troubles fall away the place
to do it is 2301 S. Lake Michigan Drive.
For the past several months I have
been working toward a speaking career. I have been writing speeches, refining them,
recording them and preparing to go out into the real world and actually do
this. Those of you who know me personally most likely have no doubt that I have
more than enough to say and probably would agree that I take more than my fair
share of time in saying it. However, it may surprise you to know that when I
know people are actually listening and may actually hold me accountable for what
I seem to believe are pearls of wisdom, it can scare the shit out of me. I used
to spend a lot of time in bars. In my current sober state I am now well aware
that my “bar room buddy”, who seemed to be giving me his full attention, was
hardly focused on whatever it was I was yammering on about just having downed
his 5th mojito. Yet if memory serves me correctly, which is
certainly questionable, somewhere in between the bartender mulling more mint
leaves and crushing ice we did clink glasses while slurring the mutual
sentiment, “I love you man”. That however, is not the market niche I am going after.
My plan is to speak to high school
and college students about rising above bullying and learning to accept &
celebrate everything that they are. As it would happen, two of my dearest
friends who have worked both as teachers and administrators in the school
system joined me at the happiest place on earth. I asked them for suggestions
regarding promotion, who to contact etc. and after offering me their ideas they
both said, “Well let’s hear the speech.”
Not too long ago I was the kind of
person who would quickly don the suffocating cloak of insecurity, which I own
in several colors. However, I have since developed not just a comfort in, but a
craving for the limelight. By the
time I finished my speech they were both sobbing. Searching for affirmation
that I was in fact just that good, because at times I still feel that cloak of
insecurity resting comfortably on my shoulders, I threw out a self seeking comment
like, “Get it together girls! You’re probably only reacting so strongly because
you know me.”
Wiping tears from their eyes they
said, “No. You have to do this. There are so many kids out there who need to
hear what we just heard.”
Getting a thumbs up from two people
I love and respect did two things. Number one. Fed my ravenous ego. Number two.
Made it all seem so much more like a real possibility, which in turn scared the
shit out of me. This always results in me looking for any excuse to delay
progress. I always like to put a bit of a “hitch in the giddy-up”. I am the
master, as many of us are, in finding any and every excuse, real and imagined,
but mostly imagined, to not move forward.
The hitch I found in this particular giddy-up was that I wish that my
roommate who has a job she hates would get going on the photography career that
she continually talks about. This somehow has a huge bearing on my future
success. My loving and supportive friends gave me a look that made it clear
that I may be selling this line of bullshit, but they certainly weren’t buying.
I stammered on, “Well…it’s just easier to chase a dream when the people you
spend time with are doing the same, even if it’s not the same dream…besides, I
need head shots.” Evidently I had convinced myself that there are no other photographers
in Los Angeles, the film capitol of the world who could take my head shots. Take
a little fear, give it an ample splash of insecurity and my excuses can feed on
that like maggots on road kill.
Two weeks later I was heading back
to the land of shattered dreams that is Los Angeles. While waiting for my
flight to be called, I said a little prayer. It went something like this.
“Okay. I think I am really supposed to do this speaking thing, but I could
still use a little reassurance. Like you know…a sign or something. I’m not
going to apologize for my insecurities, we both know who we are talking about
here. I’m not sure what those signs look like, that’s your job, but I will be
looking for them and please make them ridiculously obvious as at times you know
it is difficult for me to catch on.”
At that point, Southwest Airlines
announced they would be boarding the “A” group, numbers one through thirty. The
“A” group is those of us who paid an additional $25.00 for the “Early Bird”
perks Southwest Airlines offers. Looking at my ticket I saw that I was number
30. The last passenger in that particular “Early Bird” group. Yup. It seems I
am the guy who will be boarding the plane and choosing his seat right before
the guy who is number 1 in the “B” group and didn’t pay an additional twenty-five
bones. I am tall and mostly interested in getting an emergency row seat with
extra legroom. In the past there was a full row of seats, but Southwest has now
reconfigured their seating so only one seat with extra legroom exists. They
have simply removed the seat next to the emergency exit and the passenger
sitting behind that space gets to stretch out. Being number 30, I figured the
odds of my getting that seat were remote at best, but thought perhaps I could
at least get an aisle seat and stick my legs out in the aisle until the flight
attendant came by tossing out bags of rip-off Ritz and Oreo knock-offs.
As I boarded the plane, I saw a man
about my height of 6’3” talking to two flight attendants who were standing right
next to the much-coveted emergency exit seat. The other twenty-nine passengers had either chosen their seats
already or were scurrying right past him, but my eyes locked onto that seat
like XXXXX. Apparently I was not being as subtle as I had thought and as he
gave me a cock of the head and an inquiring look I said casually, “Oh, I was
just hoping to get a seat with some extra leg room, but it’s all yours.”
He gave me a big grin and said,
“No, your wrong, I’ve been saving it for you. I just want the seat in front so
I can use the extra tray table for desk space.”
A smile broke out on my face as I
extended my hand, “Bless you, my name is Tom,”
He gripped my hand and simply said,
“Frank.”
“I’ll be saying an extra prayer for
you tonight Frank.” Yes, I pray okay? What did you want me to do? Offer Frank
my Ritz?
Frank sat down in the aisle seat.
Yes, this detail is important.
I pulled out a book and began to
read. A few moments later a man sat down in the aisle seat in my row. We had
been warned it was a full flight but it seemed everyone kept walking past my
row, as well as, Frank’s.
Looking at my row companion I said,
“Just look intimidating and maybe we can keep this seat between us empty and
have some extra room.” At that moment a man stopped in the aisle next to us and
was obviously choosing between the seat between the two of us and the seat to
Frank’s left. When he asked Frank
if the seat to the left of him was taken, Frank said, “Well, actually I would
prefer that seat. I am happy to move over, which he did, and the man took the
aisle seat.
My row companion looked at the book
I was reading, “Crafting your Life into a Work of Art”. He said, “Wow,” and
laughed.
“What?” I asked. He motioned to the
book. I said, “Oh, well I speak (I believe you need to talk as if things are
already a reality to help manifest them) on discovering, accepting and
celebrating everything that you are and this book kind of resonates with that.”
At that point he threw his head
back and laughed and said, “Wow! My wife is going to love this! Hi, I’m Bill
and don’t believe in coincidences,” he said, shaking my hand.
Looking confused I raised an
eyebrow and he continued, “I’m going to a three-day seminar on the very same
subject by her suggestion. I wasn’t sure I really wanted to go. I guess you are
the sign I was looking for. I could have sat down next three hundred other
people but I chose to sit next to you. Like I said, my wife is going to love
this. She doesn’t believe in coincidences either.”
“Neither do I,” I said with a grin.
I told him about the prayer I said. He told me he was meeting his son at the
seminar. The same son he hadn’t felt that close to until a few years ago when
he was driving him home from college from Denver to Milwaukee. On that trip Bill
was hospitalized and almost died. He fought back tears as he told me that while
lying in his hospital bed he heard his son say to the nurse, “I don’t care what
your visiting hours are. You don’t understand, that’s my dad in there and I’ll
sleep in a chair in the hallway if I have to.” He unashamedly wiped a tear from
his cheek as he said, “The kid that I didn’t really feel close to,” and shook
his head. At the time the family business of generations had been struggling
and that is where Bill had been focusing all of his energy. He told me that
experience didn’t just change their relationship, but changed his life.
I commented that it was great that
he was able find the blessing in that near tragedy. He said, “I can tell you
this. If that hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t be going to meet my son for a
three-day mind, body & spirit seminar on creating your life. Our
relationship has completely changed. I am a very lucky man.”
He asked about my plans for my
speaking career and after I shared some ideas with him he laughed and said,
“Hell, Tom, they should just give you the microphone and you can get started
right now. If this is you talking impromptu, you are going to do great.”
I thanked him and said, “I hopes
so. Sometimes I am so incredibly sure of myself and other times I think I’m
completely nuts. It’s wild. At
times I feel like I’m in alignment with the Universe and I am in exactly the
right place at exactly the right time doing exactly the right thing. It’s
amazing. I just need to remember to get out of my own way and things will
happen as they are suppose to if I am on the right path.” `
Bill had some work to do to prepare
for his seminar and I told him I would leave him alone to take care of it. Looking
forward I noticed that Frank had the additional tray table covered with notes
and was typing away on his laptop. I had no plans on reading what Frank was
typing, really I didn’t, but as he scrolled down a line of bright blue type
read, “And then I realized I am not a hero on this journey…if anything, I am an
obstacle.” Had I or had I not just mentioned to Bill that that at times I feel as
if I am in alignment with the Universe and am in exactly the right place at
exactly the right time doing exactly the right thing and just need to get out
of my own way? Correct. I had.
I leaned over and said, “Excuse me
Bill, but I have to interrupt. Things just got weirder,” and I shared with him
what Frank had written. He laughed and said, “I’m calling my wife as soon as I
get off this plane.” Then he added, “Oh my God, you realize you would not even
be able to see his laptop…”
“…if that guy had chosen the seat
between us instead,” I finished with a smile.
“First I sit next to you and am going
to this seminar and now he is writing about exactly what you speak on? What are
the odds…?” Bill wondered aloud.
“Albert Einstein once said,
“Coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous.”
Shaking his head in disbelief he
went back to his book and said, “You know, you have to talk to him when the
plane lands.” I agreed.
I spent the last hour of the trip
thinking about how best to tell Frank I had been invading his privacy by
reading over his shoulder. The nice guy, who had told me he was saving the seat
just for me. What was he going to do? Punch me? It’s not as if I had been
reading top-secret financial records or something. Then again, privacy is
privacy. But then again, I am a writer and I am flattered if someone asks about
my work. I continued with this kind of insane debate and then just as the plane
hit the ground I thought, “My God! You asked for a sign and now you get two and
you are too ridiculously chicken shit to follow through? If you truly believe
what you say you can’t believe this JUST happened.”
As Bill pulled his carry-on out of
the overhead bin, he nodded toward Frank and gave me a smile. Bill walked down
the aisle and I said, “Frank I want to thank you again for the seat and I have
to admit I happened to catch some of your writing and it really resonated with
me. Particularly the line, “And then I realized I am not a hero on this
journey…if anything, I am an obstacle.”
He paused for a moment, seeming a
bit uncomfortable and then said, “Well, thank you.”
I asked what it was he did for a
living and he said, “Well, I sort of changed course mid-way through life. Right
now, I’m a writer and a professional speaker.”
As I stood in front of the luggage
carousel waiting for my two checked bags to roll off, I said, “Thank you,” to
the Universe, aware that if I had been looking for signs it couldn’t have
gotten much clearer that that. In my mind I asked the asked, “What else could I
ask for?”, and as I looked up, one of my bags rolled onto the conveyer
belt…followed by my other bag. When does this happen? How many bags were in the
belly of that plane? One hundred? Two hundred? And my bags come out one after
the other? All I could do was laugh. Coincidence is God’s way of remaining
anonymous.
Oh, I almost forgot. My roommate
picked me up at the airport. She just happened to be free that afternoon. She
got laid off from that job she hates and has been busy building a portfolio of
headshots all week long. We’ll be doing mine next week. Here’s to one less
hitch in the giddy-up!
If
any of my followers are interested in my speaking to your school or
organization feel free to take a look at my website. I travel, so Midwestern
followers don’t be shy!
www.tomspeakz.com
